My 12 month Odyssey!

I know today is the 27th and not the 29th (the exact date of my 12 months to the day that I was banded) but I figured putting this on two days early wasn't the end of the world. I am going to be flat out with work and other things in the next few days so I thought I would bang this on here today and have my vlog ready for the actual day on Saturday. Another reason for doing it this way: I didn't want you guys to go into overload with all of this. So here it is :) 

In the top shot I am 113.3 kilos (249 pounds) - this shot was taken just a few days before I was banded.The lower shot is me today. Weighing 76 kilos (167 pounds) with a loss of 37.3 kilos or 82 pounds.

I also put together a slideshow to your right. Starting with what I used to weigh before I had the band put in and gradually losing weight to become the woman I am now. If you want to know what stage I’m at (because I couldn’t seem to caption the pictures themselves) place your pointer over the pic in question and there should be an indication where I was in weight at that time :)

THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS………

What’s changed in myself? The good and bad: 

My confidence.

My attitude.

My whole life!

I am a happier, a more or (less? lol) rounded person. I think I relate to my boys and my husband in a much calmer way. All because I’m happier in myself. I don’t feel intimidated walking into a boutique shop now. I don’t feel others are better than myself now because they are smarter/thinner/prettier etc etc. I laugh more. I smile more. I want to travel more. I am working outside the house in a new profession (a huge step for me.) I am living a ‘normal’ life with none of the baggage being a bigger person brought with it. I can’t tell you how amazing that feels. And all because I took a chance and decided to change my life. It worked, it’s still working and I’m a better person for it. No if’s, but’s or maybe’s.

I can’t tell you of the joy when I go into a shop and pick up a size 14 or medium (US size 10 or medium) and it fits. Sometimes I just buy without trying and when I get home it still fits. Clothes hang on me much better – I’m experimenting all the time and I have become a clothes whore, (or should that be horse! Ha!) something I never was in the old days. The other day I wore a stylish pair of pinstriped trousers, tucked in my blouse, added a thin belt and high heels, then almost wanted to cry tears of happiness. Finally I could tuck a shirt in and not look like a square block.

My sons tell me I’m thin. Jake, just the other day said: ‘You know, mum, when you see some people are big, some are skinny, some are tall, some are thin? Well, you are just perfect: you look perfectly normal. If my 13 year old son thinks I’m now ‘thin’ then I have to start believing it myself.

I have this little story to tell: 12 months ago with winter approaching I remember shopping for jumpers (sweaters) at one of the big department stores. I was with my friend: she’s an Australian size 10. Always has been, always will be. Anyway, we were looking at all these beautiful clothes and again, like so many years before, I was looking longingly at the smaller sizes wishing with ALL my might that I too could wear them. While they make semi-nice clothes for bigger women (I was as size 20-22) they just never quite look the same. She would pick up a little jumper and put it on and it clung to her and just looked beautiful. Me? Well, I would just try to cover the lumps and bumps. This year I’ve gone mad. I am buying and wearing all those smaller sizes and loving every second of it.

I can cross my legs. I fold them under me all the time when sitting down. Actually, I can cross my legs AND wind my foot around my ankle in a vine going down a pole kind of way. Awesome!

I have gone from a bra size of … gulp … 22DD to a 14E. Yeah, I’m still a little big in that department but compared to how I used to look I think my breasts are small now. Hallelujah!

My fitness is up. I no longer puff when I walk for ages and I no longer dread that long walk. I often outpace MOTH (Man of the House) and believe me, he has loooong legs. I park the car the furthest away from my destination (say at the shopping centre) and don’t fret if I someone else has all the good parking spots.

I think about food all the time: who knew? But this is a good sort of thinking. I don’t ‘obsess’ about food any more. Not at all. Instead, I’m wondering what to do for dinner tonight: will it have enough protein? Is it band friendly for me? etc etc. This is a really good step. Apart from meal times, I don’t care about food at all. If I want that naughty food, I have it and I don’t check myself. I know my band will not allow me to go overboard.

I get my photo taken all the time now. When it came time for me to find my so-called ‘fat girl pics’ for this post, I struggled. No explanation needed there, I guess? I just hated having my picture taken. Now I am always asking MOTH or the boys to take my photo and my online album has exploded lol. It’s actually a bit embarrassing.

My hair: this would have to be the one thing I really disliked my band having an effect on. It’s not as nice as it used to be. It could be an age thing but I doubt it. I had bad hair-loss 6 months down the track and while it’s improved in leaps and bounds due to a lot of care, I still don’t think it’s as nice as it used to be. I will keep working on this one. Here’s a footnote: Forget all these expensive hair products we buy to make our hair smooth and not frizzy. Warm a little olive oil, and spread it through from about half way down your hair to the ends and comb through with a wide tooth comb. Wrap your head in glad wrap (cling film or whatever you call it wherever you are – the cling wrap keeps the oil warm giving it time to soak in ) and then either a wrap a towel or scarf on. I leave this on overnight (taking the wrap and scarf off before bed.) Your hair after washing it the next day will look amazing. The trick here is – don’t go overboard with the oil. You need just enough to let it soak in without making it look like an oil well burst on your head. A couple of tablespoons is enough for medium length hair like mine. I find the next day my hair is soft and actually does as it’s told. Give it a try. It might surprise you J

Not enjoying a meal out like I used to. Okay, this is both good and bad. Like most of us, eating out in the old days was a fun time. I would give myself carte blanche to just eat whatever the heck I felt like (I would almost always order a cream based dish) and I rarely (unless on a good day) thought conscious thoughts about ordering a healthy meal. Now, with my band in, eating out just isn’t as much fun any more. I still do it: only now I ask for another plate and take what I want from MOTH’s meal, or order an entrée, with that slightly panicky feeling – even after all these months, that the tiny meal placed in front of me isn’t going to cut it. But it most often does. A few bites later and I’m done for the most part. And of course, there’s always the worry about PB’ing. That can sometimes take some enjoyment out of the meal as well.

My skin: no more breakouts. Once a month sure enough, up would come that pimple next to my mouth. Since banded? I don’t think I’ve had one. Fantastic.

I feel sexy: ALMOST ALL THE TIME. Ha!

I don’t count calories: never have, never will. I did do it once for three days when I was stuck in a bad plateau but other than that in the 12 months, nada. I just refuse too, as this is not the reason I got the band.

Same goes for making goals. I had two main goals and that was it. The first one was I wanted to hit 80 kilos. Scratch that one off. I surpassed it in February of this year. My next one was to lose the 40 kilos in a year. That one I am off by just a couple of kilos. It's annoying but not the end of the world. I am happy with what I have done so far and wouldn't change it for the world. 

I still view people the same way: that’s a respect thing though. I wouldn’t treat them badly before: I certainly don’t now. I treat people the way I want to be treated. 

Body flaws: Yeah, I have them. My stomach and arms and waist are not flash. From below the elbow, no worries, from elbow to shoulder, bit bat-wingy. And my stomach – well, after four children and a loss of 80 pounds some squiginess is to be expected. And I think I lost my waist somewhere. But on the up side, I love my legs and hips and ankles, my shoulders are small, and my breasts are just ‘normal’ sized now which looks much better in clothes. I’m more in proportion. That said: I’m very lucky. I have lost the weight all over. Being an apple shape I think I still carry too much weight around my mid-section but like everything else that has come way down, too. I can live with the flaws. They’re not so bad they will have me running to the doctor. Then again, ask me in another 12 months lol.

I think that might be it. I’m sure I will think of other things: but as a whole this is it in a nutshell. There is one more thing I haven’t yet mentioned and that is you. You the reader, the supporter, the friend, the one who helped me up when I was down, and celebrated with me when things were going so well. I could never have done this without you all. That I know from the bottom of my heart. So to all the girl-n-guys who stuck with me for these first 12 months as I bumped my way along the road I thank you. I've suddenly gone all teary (but good ones…) 

Fondest regards and much love,

Cara xxxx