Sometimes men have no perception.....

So last night we had a couple of good friends over. We were all sitting around the pool area out back (due to Perth being - again - in the middle of a heat wave....... we have had a run of nasty, stinky hot days)..... and we were all having a few drinks. The night was hot.... our moods were relaxed, and after the day we all had we were just enjoying each others company - and the red wine!


We got to talking about deep and meaningful things as we usually do. This couple have been a part of our lives from before our kids were born and so their kids have grown up with ours. Now I had to laugh.. I have told my friend (call her Mrs D) about my band, but not Mr D. Mr D is the shit-stirring kind and though we love him to death I just wasn't sure if I was up to the task of taking him on when he found out how I was finally up to the task of losing weight. Turns out, until last night, nine months down the track he finally got around to mentioning something. Now bare in mind, we see this couple often.. They are the ones we socialise with the most out of anyone and he's known me both thin when in my late teens and 20's and when I was at my heaviest. The conversation went something like this.......


Mr D: "You know, theres something really different about you. I just caught your face in the light... have you lost some weight? I seem to remember your face being rounder."
Me: "Oh? You do?" 
Mr D: "Yeah. You seem different somehow, too. You're out there starting a new career, you seem to have a lot of get up and go and ......what is it? What's different?"
Me: "Um... I have lost quite a bit of weight.
Cue lots of eye rolling and giggles between Mrs D and I. MOTH is giving a smirk not sure how this is going to end. 
Mr D: "Right. I knew it. You look skinnier." 
Me: "Ta. So, if I look smaller, how much do you think I've lost?"
Mr D: "Crap! Don't ask me that. I dunno."
Me: "Go on, guess."
Mr D: "Ahhhh, 2 kilos?" 
Me: "Hahahaha, you're so funny." I stand up and face him. "Look at me. Do I really look like I've lost two kilos?" 
Mr D peers in the half dark at my legs sticking out of a short skirt: "Hey, look at your legs. Wow, they look like (insert his wife's name... Mrs D has never been more than a size 10 in her life.. yet she's one of my biggest supporters)..... Your legs are unreal. How'd that happen?"
Cue more eye rolling and laughing between MOTH, Mrs D and me. 
Mr D starts squirming about now. He's laughing himself but clearly isn't in on the joke. 
"Okay, I'm going to go 5 kilos. I say you've lost at least 5 kilos." He looks almost scared. Is 5 kilos too much? Is he overshooting the mark? Am I going to hit him? lol. 
Me: "I've actually lost 32."
Mr D: "32 what?"
Me: "32 kilos......"
Mr D: "F**k me, you have not! Really?"
Me: "True story."
Mr D: "I said 2, then five, but really thought it was about 10......"
Me shaking my head: "You're a dag."
Mr D: "And you're a skinny dag. Let's have another drink....."
So know he knows. But will it make a difference as to how he perceives me? Unlikely. But at least now the cats out of the bag (even if he still doesn't know HOW I lost the weight.) It was just one of those funny, sweet moments we get in life. He's a funny guy.