See that expression on the pigs face? Mine won't be of surprise, it will be full of knowledge... that today I hit the self-destruct button and now I'm round in the middle just like our little pink friend.Sigh. Why do I do this to myself? I have gone nine weeks feeling relatively strong - yes I've had ups and downs, but today is the first time I've actually felt out of control. Is it because I finally fit into my size 16 jeans and the same size tracksuit pants? These are the ones I thought I would have to lose five kilos before I could fit them comfortably. It seemed a couple was all I needed instead. I've been wearing the tracksuit pants all week and last night I tried on the jeans and they slipped up over my legs, then hips and voila! I could even button them. Like to see me try tonight.
I'm hoping today I have just been making up for the lack of food the pasts few days. I've drunk a lot of water and eaten quite a bit and now I feel really fat and uncomfortable. I even have that nasty sign I've over-done it with a stitch in my side, the one I get when I've eaten too much.
My food for today (I'm putting it in black and white to see for myself if I did go overboard.)
Breakfast: One coffee, one crumpet with dairy free marg and honey
Morning Tea: quarter handful of bbq chips - one coffee
Lunch: Ham, cheese, tomato toasted sandwich on multigrain
Afternoon Tea: Small iced coffee and 10 chicco babies
Dinner: One cup of meatballs and spaghetti
I don't know. It doesn't look like a massive amount and it's certainly way less than I would eat pre-banded but I can see naughty things in there. I'm terrified of slipping back into bad habits and today definitely felt that way. What I need is a good slap. Or a helpful hint on how to get back into the mindset would do. Anyone??
Hey Cara, just a quick note of support and compassion :-)
ReplyDeleteYou are eating way less than your prebanded days and I can see how getting to a size 16 would have a lot of meaning for anyone (myself included) and maybe send us back to some old eating behaviors for comfort.
You've done a lot of work and lost a lot of weight. To me, getting to a size 16 means becoming part of the majority in terms of life, you fit into things and most things are just easier at that size.No wonder it's a bit scary.
You'll get back on track today and this will be a blip. You'll see :-)
B
You may have overdone it, but only slightly, and what's more important, you've limited the damage. I think it's important to have days like this because they will strengthen you overall. You've been ill recently, and perhaps it's your body telling you it needed to replace the nutrients lost in fighting the bug - who knows.
ReplyDeleteCaroline
Yea for your NSV with the jeans! I am fitting in a couple 16's and the whole range of 17's that I have. I was barely able to button the loosest 17's they have just a few months ago. The cool thing is that I have lots more clothing options because I've hoarded everything.
ReplyDeleteCara- It's so hard because we're still in restriction limbo. I ate a whole hamburger today and have felt really guilty about, but it's one meal and hopefully in a few weeks I won't even be able to think about eating that much.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as you pointed out, I may have eaten that and more in the past - it's all relative.
P.S. - i have no idea what chicco babies are but they sound intriguing.
Ahhh, Cara, turn the other cheek (or chicco) and forgive yourself. It doesn't look horrible unless chicco babies are small hamburgers, then 10 of them is really out of bounds!!! :) hugs,you are doing fine.
ReplyDelete