My story of Woe and Tragedy - and mega farts!!

Day three post-op for me and I'm feeling wayyyyy better than the previous few days. I had tried to sit and write but I was so doped up on this super-woozy inducing drug that I couldn't put a coherent thought together let alone string two words together on a page lol. Today though is another story. 

Okay, so my story goes something like this:  I awoke on the Friday morning at 6.10am. Perfect timing actually because I had to get 2nd son up for his bus/train/bus trip to Fremantle to get to TAFE. MOTH and I wandered around, showered blah blah.. you know the drill. He had breakfast, I didn't and we managed to make it to the  hospital by 7am on the dot. Below is a pic of my torture chamber: 

I was checked in... all very efficient, and within minutes was taken to my room.  As I peered inside, my heart sank. I was in shared accommodation. Bed number 39. Not happy Jan!!! I have shared rooms  before when I have been in to have my babies and invariably its just bloody awful. You all know the drill - think snorers and criers and buzzing for nurses and loud T.V's when you're trying to sleep. Well, I tried to make a good thing out of a bad. First thing I did - cos I'm nosy - was check on the outside of the door to see if anyone else was being seen to by Dr Couch. BINGO! One lady was. So as MOTH ducks off to go sort the kids and get them to school, leaving me on my ownsome, I introduce myself to the lady in the bed across from me. Her name is Dianne. Our conversation went something like this: 

Me: "Hi I'm Cara. I saw your name on the outside here. You're being seen by Dr Couch today too?"

Dianne: Yeah, I'm having my gall bladder out. 

Me: Hey, I had that done a few years ago."

Dianne: What are you having done today then?"

Me:  I'm getting a lap band put in? Have you heard about them?"

Dianne:  I was banded last September. Welcome to the club."

That was the start of a beautiful friendship. We talked non stop and giggled like a couple of naughty kids.  We  just got on like a house on fire... both of us able to guide the other on what we were in for that day because we  had "been there, done that!!" As Dianne talked, in wandered her husband (he was just lovely too) and they both chatted freely about her banding experience. He seemed to know just as much as she did lol. It was about now I started to get really excited. This was actually happening... it was real.... I was doing this!!! 

Dianne, her husband and I chatted for a couple of hours, bringing the time up to around 9.30 am. Then suddenly the easy going air changed in the room. Things started to happen really quickly. I had all the usual pre-op observations done (including stepping on the scales which had me almost 4 kilos lighter than mine at home... I said to the nurse, if they go missing, you know where to look, cos I want these kind scales lol)  I was measured for the sexy stockings, was given a Heprin shot in my shoulder (ouch! Those buggers sting) and changed into my airy fairy no back on it hospital gown. And they took my knickers!! What was with that??? Then I was wheeled down and parked in a small alcove where I watched miniture fake fish swimming around in a champagne bottle. The nurse who had been with me for the whole morning came by - she stroked my hand as she  chatted - and I whispered to her: "I have no knickers on. They took them. I feel a bit exposed."  She gave a small laugh and I still didn't manage to get a straight answer. 

Then the nerves hit. And when I say hit.. I mean KABAM!!!! I wanted to scramble off that gurney and run for my life. No idea why.... but I just did. Dr Couch finally made an appearance and popped his head in to say hi. Then he disappeared again, and not a minute later I was wheeled into theatre. I lay there in the freezing cold room as people bustled around me (I really hate this part of going under.. its scary!!) and then was moved onto a narrow bed (me trying to maintain some dignity as I STILL had no knickers on - where were my paper ones.. huh, huh!! 

Then the anaesthesiest farted around trying to find a vein in the back of my hand - no go, they were too small - so he settled for the inside crook of my arm. FRIG!! OUCH!! That was in, I felt a tear slide down my face 'cos .... well, shit THIS WAS IT!! NO TURNING BACK.... NO POINT OF RETURN!! ............ and it was lights out.

I'm not sure how many drugs they gave me, but let me just say this.... whatever I had packed a punch. Usually when I wake up in recovery I'm bright as a button. I eat within the hour and sit up happily chatting. Not this time. It took till around 3pm before I could even open a squinty eye to peer at the t.v. and even then things were fuzzy. I just couldn't pull myself out of the stupor I was in. Felt ok all the afternoon, and only had panadol for pain relief. The next day was another story. 

Just back from recovery 

My patchwork quilt stomach - do I look pregnant or what? lol

By 10 am that next morning - the Saturday - both Dianne and I were itching to get home and Dr Couch hadn't yet made an appearance so the nurses kindly rang him and they checked us out. We went out separate ways, after exchanging numbers and with a promise of contact to tee up a coffee date at The Dome Cafe sometime in the near future. I had felt pretty much ok all morning. Had been to the loo, no problems there, was walking ok, still not hungry, but that was the whole point and I thought I was doing just great alas........

I went downhill that afternoon. After feeling SO good all morning, the afternoon showed me that I'm not 20 any more.. pfft to that, by the way. I was sore, and sick, and I couldn't get ANY fluids down me (I tried to have a teeny cup of coffee twice, only to have maybe three sips and that was it for me) and I tried to get some water down. Had a bad night in bed, tossing and turning too. Was pretty grotty all round. And I know you girls had warned me about the wind pains: but JAYZUS!!! It was stuck under my left ribcage - like a giant fist - and would expand into my sternum and up my chest, literally taking my breath away. I walked and walked and walked and that helped some. No shoulder tip pain though, luckily for me. And those ripper farts: I swear I went red every time one got away from me... 

Woke up Sunday feeling marginally better. I was moving easier, and I managed to get down a half up-n-go (honey and banana flavour- blech... I gave these to the kids... way too sweet) and about three hundred mills of water again. I just took it really easy, kept myself doped up on super pain killers (I tossed these today, they were making me far too woozy. I would nod off every few minutes.... I think I slept on and off all day.) The wind pain had settled down to just hitting me intermittently and I had a slightly sore shoulder (the shoulder tip pain finally hit me I think. Was still very mild though thankfully.)

                                             A  fading bruise from God knows what - this was 

much, much darker, and has only just started to fade to a lovely yellowish shade. 

This morning I woke up feeling really good. I rolled out of bed feeling a little peckish for the first time, so I tried some coffee. It actually tastes a little yuck (which is like.... sigh.... why?? cos I loveeeee my coffee) but I persevered lol. I have managed about 200 mills of water so far and its not quite 11am, so maybe I will do ok with that. My bandages have come off and I only have the steri-strips on now. I had a shower this morning, and made sure I dried them well and they are getting mildly itchy now, all good signs. I haven't taken any pain medication at all today. I haven't needed it. So all in all, I am on the mend. Yay to that!! 

See you all soon 

Cara xxxx

So: LIQUIDS DAY ONE : Three sips of coffee then full. (Tried this twice but me and coffee                                                          werent' gelling.) 

                                               About 200 mills of water

                                                That evening had about a half a cup of beef broth. 

LIQUIDS DAY TWO:          Half a 250ml Up-n-g0

                                                 300 mills water

                                                 A quarter cup of coffee - skim milk no sugar

                                                  A half a cup of beef broth

LIQUIDS DAY THREE:       Half a cup of coffee for breakfast - skim milk no sugar

                                                  Have so far drunk 200 mills of water in sips

                                                  Having a Multi-V with folate vitamin A & C breakfast juice - about

                                                  half way through it.