Buddah Belliesville....or is it a plateau?

Boy, I feel fat today. Actually I felt the same way yesterday. What's with that? When I was bigger I can genuinely say I don't remember having fat days. Every day felt like one - but now I have lost some weight I finally get the gist of what those who say it mean. I feel bloated and just blahhh.

Angie, who writes under I am in repair had an interesting post this morning. She pretty much summed up exactly how I'm feeling today. She wrote that perhaps her body had hit that spot where it felt comfortable sitting - because she has struggled to lose any weight since mid-October. Well, I am exactly the same way, though I have lost some weight since then. I carried on doing exactly what I had been doing (except for the Saturday when I had a blow out) and I haven't lost a gram this week. In fact I am up almost half a kilo. What the!! I suspect there's a reason though. My 'that time of the month' never arrived for two months and now I have had two in the space of four weeks.I feel just like that woman in the picture, a slightly thinner person encased in a sumo suit. I wonder if the gain is water weight? I just don't know. Maybe I've hit a point just like Angie.. my body has said.. Enough! Brakes on! I'm comfortable at this weight and I'm not going down any further!

Yesterday was weigh in day and like many of you I am bouncing around on those damn scales like a ping pong ball. It drives me nuts. I get weighing daily probably isn't beneficial but I don't want to have a great week then get on the scales seven days later to find I've dropped an inconsequencial amount of weight and be crushed. Been there done that in the past. So I weigh daily. It keeps me focused and on track - or it did. Right now it's just pissing me off!!!!

I did something I haven't done in ages yesterday - proving that I'm still able to slip back into an old mentality of the past. I jumped on the scales.. and they hadn't budged. I'm not sure it was a sub-concious gesture or not (or just the whole - I feel blobby so blobby I will stay thing!!) but I could not seem to get enough to eat.

I had my shake in the morning (after my coffee) and then tried to eat lunch. Sometimes this works for me, sometimes not. Yesterday I got down some small crackers with lite philly spread on it, topped with sliced ham and tomato. I made four but only managed three - these crackers are super thin, about four inches long and three wide. But then two hours later I was making a toasted sandwhich for Riley after school, and made myself one thinking I would probably only manage half. Nope. Got the whole damn thing down. Felt a bit sick after (I think I pushed it.. should have stopped at half) and then four hours later the picking started. A half handful of potato chips, a little sponge thingee covered in a light layer of chocolate (I raided the bag where I keep the kids school food separated from the rest - it's a Swedish cake of some kind that comes in little individually wrapped packets) and then had some ritz crackers and dip - my downfall. I know it doesn't sound like much - but for me who has been eating at a minimum due to my band tightness and not being hungry, it really threw me. :(

Anyway, today is another day and I'm determined to get some exercise in. I am going out the back to sort this small garden patch I have near the pool. There's some weeding to sort and I plan on pulling out a bunch of annuals that have kaputted then visiting the plant nursery to fill it up again with pretty flowers. If nothing else, it should brighten my day. And as usual with me, I bet the next time I write things will be going better again - today was just a sound-off day. Thanks for putting up with my whinge. xx

Till next time

Cara