All better now

First up today I want to thank the girls that wrote to me to try to settle this raging mind of mine. I felt crazy yesterday, but today I'm back to calm me... thank GOD for that!! I just want to clarify something, not because I'm different or anything, but a lot of advice coming through seems to mention "I will still obsess about food after I have the band.... OR I can still eat what I want but in smaller portions." See, the thing is for me... right now.. unbanded... is I  DON'T actually obsess over food. Not at all. I just eat what I feel like, which a good 60 percent of the time is the wrong kinds of food but if I don't eat, or can't eat anything in particular even at that time that I feel like I want a chocolate or some other crap, well, to be honest, it doesn't bother me. I will find something else. Like I mentioned in an earlier blog, if its quick and easy to get to, then I'm happy. 

For me, the obsessing with food comes WHEN I am dieting. Because I am so bloody hopeless at it, I just can't seem to get the fat vs protein vs good shit balance right. I try, I really do, but something in this head of mine just doesn't seem capable of putting it all together to get the right sort of meal going... give me frozen or calorie controlled meals so I don't have to think and I'm happy, and I will eat it. That said: I do like the part about never dieting again on the band. This fits in perfectly with my pea brain and its lack of sorting the good from the bad. I will aim for healthy (even I can throw together a salad and chicken) and just have small portions... that I can do lol. Anyway, just wanted to clear that up. Mwah to everyone who jumped on board and tried to placate me. 

On the plus side, just a couple of things. I have been up with the sparrows this morning. 5am.. eek!! MOTH's boss called yesterday, so he's got a few days work a week at the job he had before he had to fly away to another whole world. I was up with him, making him coffee (for him not me), sorting lunch etc and then waking my 2nd son for 6am cos he has TAFE this morning and has to take 2 buses and the train to get to Fremantle. It's nice though. It's the calm before the storm (bit like me yesterday :)) before my other two get up in a whirlwind of sorting themselves for school

So I sat here and read every ones updates and drank my green tea. As I pulled my dressing gown on (a gorgeous snuggly purple number with cute little polar bears on) I noticed that it was able to tighten it more around my tummy. Bloody yay for that!! Also, I've had to move one ring on my finger from the middle to the pointer (looks a little odd but I cant be without my rings!!) and my jeans that I usually wear... and change out of by about 4pm because they get so tight at the end of the day through my piggishness, actually stayed on till bedtime. As I pulled them off to change for bed, I went, well, look at that. I'm still in my jeans and not my tracky dacks! It's lots of little things that start to add up to make the bigger picture. Getting it now lol.

I think my bod has gone into a plateau after almost two weeks on opti lol. The first week I lost 5kg and now.. well, nothing.. 100g's thats it. NOT that I'm really bothered... and Nola, I stayed off the scales for three days.. is that better? lol I have exercised this week three times - which reminds me I need new sneakers or at least inserts in my old ones cos my shins and back hurt when I walk fast.. I have the flattest feet this side of the West.. so maybe that's whats holding back the weight loss. I expect soon that the scales will start to move. 

While I'm doing just fine on Optifast... I have a good routine going now... I admit I will be glad to see the back of it. I am getting hungrier now and would love something hot to eat. I have replaced my evening coffee with green tea.. I drink about three cups a day of that now, good thing I like it lol... and everything else seems to be ticking along nicely. Even my head..!!!

Until next time, 

Cara xx