Flick switch versus slow warm up...

Lol don't know what I did there. Somehow I posted the title without anything under it... my little blonde braincells are working at less than full capacity today. So, regarding the heading for this post, I have decided I am definetely the type of person that does things quickly and without much thought instead of working my way up to them. Now this has both its good and bad sides. The good is, I dont procrasitnate too much, I quickly make a decision and for the most part stick with it. The bad.. well, I'm sure I don't need to explain the down side to that (anyone hearing the word impulsive resounding in their head?)

I'm talking about the fact that as of today, I started optifast (well, technically last night, but I couldn't get a good run at it, I caved and had a mini pack of french fries after - the kind that come in the multi pack with CC's and twisties..you know the ones.)  I woke up this morning and thought, ok, today is the day. I feel strong and its only a couple of days ahead of my real start date. For some reason, I dont feel inclined to scarf down a last meal of all the things I think I might miss out on (although, I do know missing out won't happen anyway, once that silicone sucker is in place and running properly I can have what I want within reason and only in small portions). Sound like a real Pollyanna, dont I? I dont know what it is, but for some reason I have lost interest in food. Maybe this process (brain and otherwise) has me hyper-aware of what I'm in for in the months to come and has said: STOP!! Why put more weight on before you start! or... could be I'm just plain weird. 

It's like when I stopped smoking. For years I've had my husband (who wanted to stop also but

 didn't feel it was worth it if only one of us - namely him - was being good about it.. which is more than fair enough,) and my children on my back to quit. 

So one morning about 6 weeks back we are having a morning coffee and our first ciggarette for the day, while leisurely reading the Sunday paper and again for like the upteenth time hubby said: "When are we going to give these stinking things up?" 

I remember looking at him, and right there and then I made the decision. "Right now," I said. 

I threw away the three or four left in the pack and tossed them.... after making sure I mangled them good and proper because in the past I was known for fishing that pack right back out and trying to straighten that little stick of death so I could use it... (Yeah, there's another whole side of me lol). 

Anyway, here I am. Day one on optifast. I had a moment of terror this morning. HOW was I going to get through without my morning coffee? I probably only have two a day but oh, how I love that first one while I race around like a lunatic trying to get my sons off to school. Then I hit on a brainwave, dumped a teaspoon of coffee (I went full strength here, not decaf.. don't know if thats good or not lol) and whizzed that meal within an inch of it's life. I tried to drink it normally, no go (it has the oddest after taste.. but for the life of me I cannot figure out what it is) then tried the straw trick.. putting it to the back of my throat, almost gagged at that one.. good one blondie! and then the hat trick - I just held my nose and sculled.. Blech, not the best stuff in the world, but I'm sure with some fiddling of extra ingredients i.e. low cal topping, low cal jelly, and essences (and of course coffee!!) I will get it palatable. Here's hoping lol.

I have finally included a pic of me. One of now, and one of myself at 26 when I was just the right size. No chance of ever looking like that again, but somewhere in between would be nice lol Am I asking too much??? Probably. 

Cara xx